Remember the book ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Dr. Gary Chapman? While working as a marriage counselor, he identified a simple cause of many troubled marriages: people were speaking different love languages.
I believe I have discovered a sixth love language that is also critical to the success of a marriage or long-term relationship. The sixth love language is much like the sixth sense…..a keen intuitive power to interpret the hidden meaning in cryptic conversations.
Let me give you a few examples:
Him: I’m right here beside you.
Hidden Meaning (HM): You are talking VERY LOUD, please lower volume.
Me: Can you hear that?
HM: Please turn up the TV because everyone on the show is whispering.
Him: Did you…….mumble……wine……..mumble…….dinner?
HM: You used to talk so I could hear you and now you mumble half the time.
Me: Do you want ice cream?
HM: I want ice cream.
Me: Do you want hot fudge on your ice cream?
HM: I want a hot fudge sundae.
Me: Do we have any whipped cream?
HM: He reaches for car keys.
Him: I’ve got a headache.
HM: He’s going through caffeine withdrawal.
Me: I’ve got a headache.
HM: I’ve had too much caffeine.
Me: Does this outfit make my butt look big?
HM: Careful…Your answer may decide whether you get regular or decaf tonight.
Me: I think this chicken smells okay, don’t you?
HM: We are going out for dinner.
Me: Where do you want to go to dinner?
Him: I don’t know, where do you want to go?
HM: I will veto his choice anyway, so why bother?
Me: Can I use your car?
HM: Mine is running on fumes, needs an oil change and the ‘check engine’ light has been on for three days.
Me: I twisted my back standing at my desk today.
HM: I’ll have hot chocolate ready for you after you clean up from the blizzard.
Him: Wow! A brand new bolt!
HM: He found a brand new bolt on the side of the road. And picked it up and put in his pocket. And it made him happy.
Me: Don’t get me anything for my birthday.
HM: Surprise me with something I really want, and if needed, hire a private detective to figure out what it is.
Me: There are mouse droppings in the garage.
HM: Don’t just sit there, find the little ?#@*%! and kill them!
Me: What have you been doing?
HM: I was checking Facebook when you mumbled something about going downstairs to paint the mounting for the electrical panel.
Me: Do you want the last (fill in the blank) cookie, glass of wine, french fry, etc.?
HM: Withdraw your outstretched hand slowly, and no one will get hurt.
Him: (on a Saturday night) Do you want to go to Home Depot?
HM: Still dating after all these years.
Shhhhhhhh…..don’t tell him, but while we are at Home Depot I’m going to buy Patrick a box of shiny, new bolts.
Do you and your partner keep the mystery alive by speaking the Sixth Love Language? What are some of your conversations? Do you have Saturday night dates at Home Depot? How’s your caffeine intake?
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