Should I forgive him?

After 24 years of marriage, my husband Patrick did something I’m not sure I can forgive. This will surprise anyone who knows him, since he is almost a saint. He is kind, patient, and always willing to sprint the extra marital mile to make me happy.

Please, forgive me...

Photo credit: depositphotos_Copyright:MartinaOsmy

What could he possibly have done that is unforgivable? Here’s what happened.

I was going through the credit card statement, and saw a charge for oil bronzed shower rings. I asked, “Did you order these?” and immediately panicked, thinking we were victims of identity theft. He replied (and I quote), “I made a unilateral decision to buy new rings.”

Let me give you some background. Several years ago when we I redecorated the bathroom, I chose a pine theme, since we live in a pine forest in the Pine Tree State. I even clean the bathroom with Pine-sol. You can imagine my delight, when I found adorable pine cone shower hooks (not rings) to unify the look.

It seems Patrick became exasperated about the way they detach from the rod with everyday use. Unbeknownst to me, he started cruising online bathroom accessory stores to find alternatives.

Since I am shallow, I have tolerated the inconvenience of reinstalling the shower curtain daily. My priority was maintaining a matching motif worthy of the cover of an L.L. Bean home catalog.

You might think I’d applaud Patrick’s courage and initiative. But if a butterfly flaps its wings in China and can cause a hurricane in Florida, what tempest could result when a husband starts making unilateral decisions? Decisions that his wife used to make….unilaterally?

If I let him off the hook, will this drop the curtain on our perfectly balanced power distribution? And what other unilateral decisions will he start making?

  • Will I find mysterious Victoria’s Secret bags in my underwear drawer?
  • Will he order MY meal in a restaurant of HIS choice?
  • Will he book a vacation?
  • Will he dictate our next Netflix series?
  • Will he sneak out and buy generic shampoo?
  • Will he insist I learn how to barbecue?

I broke into a sweat projecting a future where shared decision-making was the norm, and decided to take a shower. I couldn’t help but notice that the new shower rings floated effortlessly across the rod. No snags. No hassle.

*sigh* St. Patrick strikes again.

How do you and your partner or spouse handle decorating decisions? What are we going to do with all our pine cone shower hooks? Maybe Patrick can learn the art of shower ring hook sales by reviewing this scene from one of my our favorite movies, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.”

Should I forgive him?



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33 thoughts on “Should I forgive him?

  1. This IS a serious concern! We can’t have these people going around deciding things! My decorating decisions rule has always been that only people deemed (by me) to have an acceptable eye for matching colours are allowed to get involved!

    • I’m glad you can see the graveness of this situation, Silly Mummy. I like what my friend Lee Gaitan suggested when she said I need to ‘nip it’ before this behavior gets out of hand!

  2. Haha – I am the sole decision maker around here when it comes to decorating, purchases…. pretty much anything when I think about it. I would be appalled by my husband making a unilateral purchasing decision such as this!

  3. My husband loves to cook and cooks and makes my meals (on most days) and my green smoothies. He loves to grocery shop, too. I’ll gladly clean up for him since he takes over these tasks that are not my forte. Once our son was older I happily exchanged the roles we play at home.

    Shower rings? Blasphemous! You are too funny, my friend.

  4. Molly, I cannot tell you enough how much I enjoy your discernment of the commonly incredible. Due to an abundantly over-busy summer (redundance does appIy), I am just now catching up with the rest of your stories. You make me laugh out loud. Thank you for that. I NEED IT!

  5. Isn’t it amazing how our imagination can elope with our emotions and create a truly “ugly baby?” LOL! I loved this article and especially love how you shared the power of forgiveness. There are lessons in here for all of us.


    • I wasn’t prepared Kathleen to like the new shower rings as much I as I do. My husband is wise and takes charge when he needs to. I’m thinking the pine cone hooks will look great on the Christmas tree. Thanks for reading!

  6. Lovely post, Molly. I guess he’s work a pass this time. Seriously, you sound blessed with an adorable husband and a great sense of humor – what a winning combo! Loved reading about your pine-themed bathroom, xox, Reba

  7. That is so funny! Definitely a heart-stopping moment when decisions are made without permission 🙂 But like I tell him, ‘it’s for your own good!’ Thanks for the lovely John Candy clip. One of my favourite films too. Love Steve Martin’s big swear-off at the receptionist! And the fingers in the dashboard scary car-ride. Must watch again! Great entertaining post.

    • I must admit Gilly, I was SHOCKED at Patrick’s fearlessness. I’ve apparently been too ‘easy.’ We love John Candy and watch this movie every Thanksgiving, laughing as heartily as if we were watching it for the first time. I hope you enjoy it as much when you watch it again. I love those scenes too….and the waking up in bed, ‘pillow’ scene. Thanks for stopping by my friend!

  8. I expect to see you wear the newest trend to work, pine cone shower hook earrings! Or better yet, you could dress up an outfit w those earrings to my wedding! 😛

  9. My husband bought some bathroom scales that have an app attached so that weight can be recorded as a graph straight onto his iPhone & apple watch. I think it’s a waste as the bog standard one we had was perfectly ok! But hubby is latest tech gadget mad so there you go! Dropped by from #midlifeluv

  10. You could donate the old ones to our family camp in the northwoods? Simple: All interior decoration decisions are handled by Edwina. I get to decorate my fur shed – presently you might call it “organized confusion” decor. BTW, a man should be able to have a good cigar every decade or so – outdoors of course.

    • If I don’t use them as Christmas decorations, I’ll consider the donation to the camp. ‘Organized confusion’ sounds like as much of an oxymoron as ‘shared decision making.’ We both enjoy a good cigar and Patrick lights mine because I’m afraid I’ll inhale. 🙂

  11. Yes, the wife makes all the decorating decisions, even when I make a seemingly watertight argument: I prefer Venitian Blinds, sweetie. If it wasn’t for Venitian blinds, it would be curtains for all of us.

  12. Mysterious Victoria Secret bags in your underwear drawer would be a lot better than mysterious VS bags in HIS underwear drawer.

    By the way…Marian makes all the decisions.

  13. Oh, Molly — this hit home! I’m traditionally the unilateral decision-maker when it comes to decorating; I think world chaos (or at least one disgruntled and aesthetically offended wife) would ensue if Hubs took it upon himself to “decorate” (quotation marks intentional!). And yet…every now and then he actually does have a good idea. Your post is a good reminder of how it must feel to be on the receiving end of such one-side decision-making, and I’m going to try to be more inclusive. Sort of.

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