Resume writer’s block

Despite an abundance of ‘blogs in progress,’ I am experiencing a bad case of writer’s block. Let me explain.

Everyone in our office is being downsized, right sized, restructured, laid off fired.

I thought I could retire. Then the stock market took a dive, and we had a ‘come to Jesus moment’ with our financial advisor. She shook her head, gave me an encouraging pat on the back, and suggested I update my resume.

And now I have resume writer’s block.

library books 2

Photo by Shallow Reflections taken at Bangor Public Library, edits via PicMonkey

My soon to be ex-employer has been kind enough to offer some job transition training, and I’m shocked at the progress resume writing has made over the years. Who knew you practically need a master’s degree to properly summarize your experience and qualifications? And apparently writing the cover letter requires a certificate of advanced study.

I updated my resume six years ago when I hustled my current job, which I declared would be my last. I located the outdated document on a dusty thumb drive. I wanted to give it the finger.

Sensing a mountain of resistance, I decided that today was the day for me to squeeze my assets onto a single page, using action words and a clean format.

I left work early so I could come home and have some quiet time to analyze my motivators, core talents, and aptitudes. Once I’ve done this, I know the words will flow, and I will compile a masterpiece that will land a dream job.

I started to drive home, but realized it was almost Halloween, and we don’t have costumes. They didn’t have much at Target, but I made a killing at the Halloween store.

Next I called Patrick, and we shared a bacon club sandwich at the Harvest Moon Deli for lunch. I can’t really concentrate when I’m hungry.

After lunch, thoughts of financial uncertainty prompted a trip to the library to borrow books instead of buying them. I only got lost a couple of times as I meandered through the stacks from humor to history.

There were so many books I wanted, but I feared I’d pay more in library fines than I’d save, so I settled on only two. When I was checking out, I learned the library will close for several weeks due to renovations, creating liberal due dates. So I trudged back into the stacks, and wobbled out under the weight of a dozen books.

The first one I’m going to read is “The Secret.” Since I haven’t updated my resume, I’ll be depending on a positive attitude and the laws of attraction for my future wealth.

Here are a few other titles I’ll be diving into:

  • 101 Things to Do With Ramen Noodles
  • How to Cut and Color Your Own Hair
  • Home Remedies and Natural Cures for the Uninsured
  • Wine Making for Dummies
  • Cheapskate Living and Loving It
  • The Unemployment Survival Guide
  • Nature’s Garden: A Guide to Identifying, Harvesting and Preparing Edible Wild Food
  • The Joy of Not Working

I’m feeling pretty confident with my arsenal of books, and the luxury of time to read them.

Have you faced an unexpected job loss? How did you manage to write your resume? Would you be willing to write mine for a wild mushroom ramen noodle casserole, and a bottle of homemade wine?

Resume Writer's Block


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29 thoughts on “Resume writer’s block

  1. LOL – at one particularly low financial point in my life I came across a an Art Doll Bag Lady that somebody whose finances were clearly in worse shape than mine was selling for $10 from the back of her car in a parking lot (do you KNOW how much Art Dolls go for?)

    My adorable little bag lady is “selling” a tattered copy of Bag Lady Weekly – with “found inside” titles similar to yours. Of course I had to have her to motivate myself to keep a roof over BOTH our heads.

    One page resumes make me scream! “I came, I sat, I worked.” THERE! Tweet worthy.
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
    ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

  2. The only way to guarantee that you will be the last one fired is to start your own gig. Incidentally, if the fate of your retirement date is dependent upon the stock market perhaps you need to talk with someone who can help you put your money where it won’t be affected by The Dow? I know someone who can help you with that. you’re being reminded of the heartlessness that has overtaken corporate America. If you run low on wine, come on over to my house.

  3. The next time I have to do my resume I’m going to break down and pay someone to do it for me. I really think it’s one of those things that you cannot do for yourself, like cutting your own hair (don’t read that book!).

    • Good advice Katy, all the way around. I was ready to pay for the resume help when someone at work helped me get it into a format that looks nice. I would probably eat rice and beans every day before I’d give up my hairdresser! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  4. Love your sense of humor with your job transition. My resume is about 10 years old, so I’m afraid after blowing the dust off, what would need to be done to make it look current and competitive. I’m sure I’d need a class and a few books too. Good luck and wine making could be a great transition!

    • Thank you Mithra. The finger line was one of my favorites too. I would love to write for The Onion. Or anyone, and get paid. Or write just for fun, which is what I do now. Thanks for the encouragement and for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  5. AAARGH! I just did my resume– the first time in 22 years. It makes me look overqualified (which I am) old (I am that too) and out of date (which I definitely am not). When I sit, fingers poised on the keyboard, ready to update, my eyes travel to errant dust on a sill, an old stain on the carpet, a speck of dirt on a chair. All I can say is that my resume isn’t done, but my house is really clean now.

  6. Keeping a sense of humor is rule 1 in job hunting….but not sure how you put it on a resume. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for!

  7. Molly, I just love your sense of humor and writing style.Once you get the resume done you can relax, you are so highly skilled you will have no problem getting a job. Love you Linda

    • Do they sell Velvet Elvis and Ginzu Knives at the Dollar Store? If so, I’ll kick those in to sweeten the deal. Otherwise I might have to wait until the sping yard sales start up around the 4th of July. I do live in Maine you know! LOL.

  8. Hang in there, Molly! I just know you’re going to land on your feet–and in a better place than you are now. And in the meantime, you’ve got all that fun reading to do! BTW, a friend of mine (our age) re-entered the workforce after being out of it for about five years and ended up with a near-perfect job (here in Maine)–so there ARE opportunities out there. I’m putting on my thinking cap as to folks I might know….

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