I struggled when I tried to make Lemon Meringue pies for the church pie sale, and my litany of profanity made them more colorful than confetti cakes. Since then I have abandoned baking anything that requires a culinary arts degree. And during the 2-3 hot days we have in Maine during the summer, I refuse to
sweat swear over a 450 degree oven.
My love affair with cake prompted me to create an easy, cool recipe that excludes offensive ingredients, like curses and frustration. So here is my version of Pineapple Upside Down Cake that I’ve named ‘No Curse Dessert.’
- Serves: 1-8 depending on how desperate you are for cake
- Prep time: 47 seconds
- Total time: 30 minutes
- Cook time: 0 minutes – Yippee!
- 1 angel food cake
- 1 can of pineapple rings
- 1 jar of maraschino cherries
- 1 can of whipped cream
- Open plastic lid from angel food cake. This is time consuming, since the lid is securely fastened welded. If you have toddlers around, you could have them open it. If not, go to Plan B.
- Carefully remove plastic lid, as there is risk of cuts from its razor-sharp edges. I did pretty well and only needed one Band-Aid.
- Open can of pineapple. Notice I sprung for Dole, which costs $0.39 more than the store brand, and has a convenient pop-top for opening. Trust me when I tell you NOT TO USE THE POP-TOP, unless you relish an emergency room visit for repair of a laceration. Note: add 7 hours to total prep time if you choose to use the pop-top.
- Extricate a jar of maraschino cherries that you have had in the back of your refrigerator since 2003.
- Place a ring of pineapple and a cherry on a cute dessert plate, because something this elegant deserves your best Chinet.
- Place generous piece of angel cake on top of the fruit.
- Open canister of REAL whipped cream. Note: DO NOT SUBSTITUTE. Would you really want to use ‘whipped topping’ on your genuine Dole pineapple?
- Take a hit of nitrous oxide, because you are tense after step 7.
- Smother your layered masterpiece with delicious REAL whipped cream.
Do you have a recipe for a sweet summer ‘No Curse Dessert’ you can share? Do you like angel cake? Does it make you feel angelic when you eat it? Do you know how to get whipped cream out of your nose? Do you use aprons when you ‘cook?’ Do you think I should repair the pocket of my apron, or do you like the well-worn look? When I’m finished eating cake I promise to respond to all your answers and comments.