How to know if you are in too much of a hurry

Our local newspaper reported a story this week about an able-bodied young woman who drove to Hannaford at high-speed to run an errand. In the process she allegedly knocked over a man in leg braces, side swiped his vehicle, and rammed her car into a pole with a handicapped sign before coming to a stop. o make matters worse she sprinted into the store to complete her mission before waiting for police. She passed her sobriety test, so what was her defense for these impulsive actions?

She said she was…. ‘in a hurry.’

Before you get all judgey and decide she is a horrid person, let’s think about what could have driven her to such extremes. What if she just didn’t recognize that she was in too much of a hurry?

Courtesy used with permission

Try to take a 100-yard dash in her Nikes, and see if you can identify any signs that you too could be racing toward a misdemeanor.

  • You return your Keurig coffee machine because it takes too long
  • When you go out to dinner you order dessert before you’ve finished your salad
  • Time Warner has threatened to downgrade your internet speed to 2 Mbps if you complain one more time about the slowness of your Ultimate High Speed package
  • You are using your crock pot as a planter
  • For breakfast you sprinkle instant coffee on your instant oatmeal, add milk and call it good.
  • You read this entire blog but it took two sittings
  • You are a big fan of the spray tan
  • You read your Bible every morning but have gotten stuck on John 11:35
  • You plan your shopping during times when express lines are the shortest
  • You know the best times when express lines are the shortest
  • Your favorite sport is Nascar racing, and you fantasize about working with the pit crew
  • You take your car to Prompto for 10 minute oil changes
  • All of the fast food restaurants know you by name and sometimes you call ahead
  • You love orchestra music and your favorite piece is “The Flight of the Bumblebee”
  • You sort of wish they made Miracle Grow for children
  • Your  favorite Looney Tunes character is Speedy Gonzales
  • You have started a letter writing campaign to change the Maine bird to a Hummingbird

My hope in publishing this eye-opening list is to lay down some speed bumps to slow your momentum toward a local headline.

Do you recognize any of these warning signs?


©2015-2017, Stevens. All rights reserved.

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10 thoughts on “How to know if you are in too much of a hurry

  1. I have to say I’m guilty of only shopping at opportune times!I refuse to darken the doors of Costco on a weekend and will drive away if the grocery store parking lot is full. But I have the luxury of being able to shop during the weekday when most people are at work.

  2. I love the way your mind works. These are so funny. But in defense of men and shopping, I think knowing when lines are the shortest is smart. A guy at Dept of Motor Vehicles told me: 10:30, Tuesday, February. Aim for 2 out of 3. We plan the grocery store trip like a military operation. John Paisley once had the map of the store as a shopping list–he noted what he needed on the map and, voila, one swoop through and he was done. With 2 or more men shoppers, we divide sections of the store, even one that we’ve never been to. We know that milk is in the back. Toothpicks and bread crumbs are problematic, but sometimes (horrors) we ask.

  3. I can add another one: you know you’re in too much of a hurry when in your rush to answer the telephone, you fall and break your ankle! Ask me!!!

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