Ever notice how warnings don’t mean much to you until they get personal? I saw the report about the Tide pod challenge. Young people are biting into poisonous laundry detergent capsules in exchange for a moment of fame on YouTube.
Our grandsons are too young to get swept into this moronic movement. So I processed the news as ‘don’t worry about it for now.’ Toddlers also eat these attractive packets, but I didn’t sweat it. Our grandsons are beyond that phase.
But when the reporter said ‘demented seniors’ are munching on these liquid toxins, I bolted upright on the couch and said, “Something must be done!”
Banning them won’t likely succeed in a world where profit and convenience trump common sense. So I have some ideas to make this product safer for those at risk.
Toddlers gobble atrocities even the family dog renounces. Implementing childproof detergent packages that simulate prescription bottles could keep our darlings safe. I’ve nearly died delaying treatment while battling these impenetrable containers.
Concerned about access on laundry day? Calling upon a locksmith will free the imprisoned solvent to ensure clean clothes. Oh, and here’s another concept. Parents could store toxic substances out of the reach of inquisitive hands.
Discouraging this age group will be tough. But they do have a lower threshold than toddlers for all things gross, which favors their survival.
A potent repellent would be transforming the pod into the likeness of a lima bean. Parents could educate their offspring about how real beans grow in natural pods. Then they could ask the teen if he’d like to eat a green, slimy Tide pod. When he says,”Ewwww,” and throws up on himself, they can teach him how to use the washing machine. Double win.
Now for the demographic that brought this problem close to home – seniors, who are not all there. Many people with dementia have a sweet tooth and crave sugary foods. At the same time, this population resists taking medication.
A common trick to coerce adherence is to crush pills and put them in applesauce. If Tide can make pods look like candy, why can’t they make them look like applesauce? Adding flecks that mimic crushed pills guarantees that demented people won’t touch this loathsome concoction.
Meanwhile, I’m feeling optimistic about the future. I hear Big Pharma is developing pill packages that look like Tide pods. I won’t miss a single dose of medication when I’m in a nursing home. You might know we baby boomers wouldn’t settle for our grandmother’s applesauce.
What other ideas do you have to encourage Tide to think outside the pod?