7 More real things to fear this Halloween

Last week I republished a blog post from last October about seven real things to fear on Halloween. I’ve been thinking about what makes my dry skin crawl this year, and uncovered seven more real things to fear as we approach the spookiest day of the year.

  1. Eagles are still dropping eels. After I wrote about the man who was innocently eating a sandwich in his car when an eagle dropped an eel on his windshield, I heard from a friend who experienced first hand the macabre fixation of our national bird.  She had just had her roof shingled when an eagle dropped an eel on the pristine asphalt. She had to rake it off and it was not exactly intact if you know what I mean. You can be sure she did a rain dance imploring nature to wash away imbedded eel parts. Ewwww!
  2. Dogs are still driving: Two pups left in a car with the ignition running to keep them air-conditioned while the owner dashed into Walmart shifted the car into gear and took a joy ride. Unfortunately, instead of heading into the Old Roy section of the store to stockpile biscuits they hit a concrete pillar. Should Cesar, the dog whisperer, now include a DVD for doggie driver’s ed?

    Photo courtesy Pixabay, edits by author

    Photo courtesy Pixabay, edits by author

  3. Becoming my Halloween character: In April Patrick and I attended a gala dressed in formal wear. A young man I didn’t recognize approached me and said, “I know you. You came with your grandsons to our house last Halloween dressed as Miss Piggy!” I’m not sure if it was the outfit that tipped him off or my obsession with the hors d’oeuvres.

    miss-piggy-and-gala-photo

    I could have totally understood if he had recognized Patrick.

  4. Pigeon hawks: I was typing a blog post one day when a bird with an enormous wingspan crashed into my window with its face contorted into an angry sneer. I screamed, “A bird is trying to kill me!” A google search revealed its identity as a pigeon hawk and it came to roost on the deck before flying into the trees to hunt rodents. My self-esteem is still trying to recover from the fact that it seems to be hunting me.

    pigon-hawk

    I thought I heard him repeat, “Never more!”

  5. Breaking my glasses: When you can only make out general shapes from 3 feet away without your glasses, the thought of breaking them instills terror. I have four extra pairs and trust me when I tell you this is cheaper than training a service dog. Especially if it totals my car while I’m shopping at Walmart.
  6. Permanently rolling my eyes into the back of my head: There are so many things that prompt an eye roll these days, and an election year magnifies this by a million. I had a fright when they stayed rolled back for 7 minutes, which inhibited my compulsion momentarily. Until I focused in on another campaign ad, that is.
  7. Clowns: No matter which side of the political fence you are on, I think everyone agrees there are have been some clown sightings on the campaign trail this year. And I am afraid. Very afraid.

What has you shaking in your Halloween costume this year? Do you have a costume? If not, what are you waiting for?

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20 thoughts on “7 More real things to fear this Halloween

  1. Living in Atlanta where they film a popular zombie TV show is hard because people choose it as a popular costume. I can’t stand zombies or zombie movies.
    Our son wants me to be Wonder Woman this Halloween.

    • Zombies scare me too! I avoid them so I’m glad we don’t see many of them up here in Maine. Except in Stephen King’s neighborhood of course. Thanks for stopping by. All mommies are wonder women, don’t you think?

  2. I’ve barely been able to see without my glasses for years, but the surgery scares me – actually it’s the thought of putting drops in my eyes for a gazillion years that frightens me. As for costumes, I have no imagination. I failed kindergarten. Seriously.

    • Thanks for stopping by Alana. I’m with you on being frightened of eye surgery. Or any surgery in general for that matter! They do have some ready made costumes out there, so you don’t have to dream one up. That helps a lot of us who flunked kindergarten. LOL.

  3. Brilliant photoshop work, Molly! We had a similar dog living next door to us when my kids were little. His name was Sherman. One day I asked my son “who made you so cute?” His reply? “Daddy and Sherman.” He’s never been able to live that one down. Hmmmm … perhaps I should suggest he go as Sherman to one of his zillion Halloween parties this year.

  4. Hubs and I went to a Halloween party last weekend dressed as Donald Trump and Sarah Palin. It was horrifying, pretending to be these two people…I can’t imagine what it’s like inhabiting their skin in real life.

    • I have goose bumps just thinking about your Halloween get-ups, Roxanne! You were very brave to take on these two personas. Did you even show up in photographs or was there a strange blank place where you were standing?

  5. Oh yes – the glasses thing for sure! I just stopped wearing contacts and have had to resort to my one pair of varifocals that I have not really looked after because I had contacts.

    Only this morning I had a flash of horror at losing them or breaking them. I would be stuck in the house banging into stuff!

    Halloween is getting bigger in the UK, especially amongst younger people and children – but I am not a fan. It’s just a sugar fest here and I hate seeing children eating all that sugar and food colouring. Just another chance for big companies to extract cash from us. What a grump I am ! ? All of this post is very funny by the way – I fear seagulls – some of them are massive and harass people who are eating food along the promenade – they dive bomb people and try to grab the food. So rude – no flipping manners. ?

    • I had to give my contacts up a few years ago and I sorely miss them, Gilly. The back up glasses do give me a sense of security as I would be incapacitated without them. I agree about the candy. It is crazy how it shows up so early in the year too. Everyone stocks up on it, eats it, then restocks, etc. We don’t get trick or treaters at our house as we are off the beaten path, but my son and family have a large neighborhood and have hundreds. The costumes are the BEST part of the entire season. And the spooky stories. Birds are scary. Ask Alfred Hitchcock of Edgar Allen Poe. Love having you stop by and leave a comment.

  6. My husband and I have always dressed up for Halloween along with our children. Usually they advise us on the costumes, but this year we seem to be on our own to decide. Some past favorites were when the youngest went as the Cookie Monster and we went as cookies or the year we dressed up as the characters in Little Red Riding Hood (our dog went as the wolf).

    Thank you for your post, which reminded me that we have some decisions to make and only a few weeks left to do so.

    • Love your costume ideas. I think it is so fun with the family dresses up. Last year my son, daughter-in-law and two grandsons were all superheroes and Patrick and I were (as per the photo) Miss Piggy and a whacked out Rock Star. We had so much fun. This year we are dressing up in Great Gatsby outfits – Patrick will be a gangster and I’ll be a flapper. 🙂

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