7 New sponsors for ‘The View’

I feel sorry for The View, having lost sponsors due to their naive banter regarding Miss America candidate Kelley Johnson, whose talent was a monologue about her profession as a registered nurse.

I am one of the millions of nurses whose blood pressure spiked when I watched a replay of the offensive segment. But since compassion is in my DNA, I don’t want The View to end up in critical care, so I’ve come up with some appropriate new sponsors to prevent a “Code Cancel. ”

  1. Dove soap: With Eggland’s Best crusted on their faces, Joy and Michelle need to promote a beauty bar that will cleanse and soften, even if it only penetrates the epidermis. Since the dove is also a symbol of peace, this will be a double win for the show.
  2. Cepacol: Nothing removes the bad taste of toxic remarks like a strong antiseptic mouthwash.
  3. Aricept: Joy wondered why a nurse would be carrying a ‘doctor’s stethoscope,’ making her a perfect spokeswoman for this Alzheimer’s drug. Let’s hope as things progress, she doesn’t find herself being cared for by a nurse who wields both a stethoscope and a restraint.
  4. Reflex hammer:  These ads will show a nurse doing a neurologic exam on Joy, who had a stroke when she saw a nurse with a reflex hammer. Is it possible the stethoscope was a gateway assessment tool for nurses who have been stealing from the doctor’s bag? What’s next?Tuning forks and otoscopes?
  5. Calcium supplements: Maybe if Joy had been taking these, her backbone would have been strong enough to issue a more convincing apology. She should also take vitamin D, to enable calcium absorption. This is a little something nurses learn when they study biochemistry, anatomy, nutrition and pathophysiology.
  6. Duct tape:  Now that Cepacol has freshened up their mouths, I’d like to see Joy and Michelle advertise duct tape. When they are tempted to mock nurses or any other esteemed profession, they can apply a fresh strip.
  7. Artificial tears:  If Joy had used these when she issued her apology,  we might have bought into her attempted sincerity. Nurses have a ready supply of natural tears, shed while witnessing birth, death, devastation from accidents and illness, and hard-won victories over supreme challenges.

I wish the best for Joy, Michelle and everyone on The View. I do worry that if they show up in the ER clutching their chests, a nurse will recognize them and walk ever so slowly to their gurney. Just kidding, of course a nurse would not do that, even if he or she REALLY wanted to. To be on the safe side, I’m going to send them a link to enroll in the “Healthcare Victim Protection Program.”

What suggestions do you have for new sponsors for The View?

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36 thoughts on “7 New sponsors for ‘The View’

  1. This is such a clever post. I never watch the View so I can’t really comment on the episode. My mother has been in the hospital for most of this year, and I just want to say that the nurses have all been awesome. With the steady change of doctors, it is the nurses that have been the constant and the source of comfort. I applaud all of you for the great work you do. Thank you so much for linking your post to #MidLifeLuv.

    • I have to admit I have never seen an episode of The View, but I did watch the clip of this segment and it got me fired up to respond…with a bit of biting humor. Thank you for your support of nurses. Sorry about your mother and hope she is doing well. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to link up!

  2. Hi,
    What an interesting post. Miss America’s talent a controversial issue! You thought you shouldn’t have given the monologue? Hmmm, where was her coach to help her? At any rate, I am at the #midlifeluv party. I love controversial posts.
    Janice

  3. This is brilliant, Molly! The ladies of The View went way off course with this gaffe and I’m not sure the show will recover. With sponsors leaving and the viewers outraged, plus with the show having lived well past its natural life span anyway, I don’t know how much longer it can survive.

  4. The View’s time is long over. I’m not sure why that show is still on the air. The women on it seem to get more ignorant as the years go on, but this really was a new low for them.

  5. I love this. I don’t watch the View…but I have heard what was said. The truth is, sometimes people say insensitive or stupid things. That’s the nature of humans. We get to decide if we’re going to be upset over it.

  6. Tongue-in-cheek, eh? I love all nurses and I’ve relied on many of them in my life. They far surpass the kind treatment I receive from doctors. Compassionate care. Looking at the whole person. So when anyone says anything about a nurse, I cringe and get my dander up. I’ve written about nurses in my blog. Great post!

    • Thank you Cathy! From the outpouring of support following The View’s warped view, you are not alone in your feelings. A little bit of sarcasm is just what the nurse ordered to respond to Joy and Michelle’s insensitive remarks. I have to admit, I’ve never watched the show, and probably won’t start now!

  7. Great post!! As an RN, I applaud your take on this. Nurses know and do more than obviously
    some members of the general public are aware. They save lives every day, not to mention that
    they often add that nurturing component that also aids in reestablishing stasis and health. THANKS!

  8. I was just remembering all the nurses I saw over the many years approach their “favorite” patient REALLY SLOWLY…….behave yourselves, people!

  9. I don’t watch “The View” and hadn’t heard about this but as the father of a nurse who has undergone her share of frustration at patients, doctors and administrators and the same heartaches and compassion as yourself, I wholeheartedly agree with you. These people don’t seem to have much between the ears. They should have to follow a nurse around for a day or night shift to get some prespective.

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