Last year I wrote an essay about the corporate dress code and how it made no sense to me. It’s possible I was a tiny bit sarcastic and a smidgeon non-supportive.
I’m not sure what happened to make me more compliant, but this year when we had our dress code review I took a different stance on it. While others were grumbling about how foolish it was to ban leggings and challenging the injunction against sneakers, I was quietly accepting these regulations.
Submission fueled by omission
I’m thrilled that the only mention of a bra is that one should avoid wearing a shirt that reveals it. And they don’t mean a top made from see through fabric, but an actual shirt that doesn’t completely cover the bra. You’ve seen women wearing shreds they call blouses that loop over their shoulders but don’t even pretend to obscure any part of the hot pink bra they are touting, right?
At any rate, there was no mention of requiring bras. When you live in a cold climate and sport multiple layers topped with a puffy LL Bean vest, this makes for an easy-going, fabulous workday. This garb is appropriate for summer months, too, because of uncontrolled air-conditioning. Note: Do not wear pantyhose or tights with this ensemble or it will cancel the bra-free bliss.
Keeping leisurewear home where it belongs
Casual clothing is kept home where it belongs with the prohibition of stretch pants and t-shirts. If my work clothes were as comfortable as my after work outfit of sweats and an oversized Foreigner t-shirt, what would I have to look forward to when I come home?
My version of Mr. Roger’s ritual of removing his sports jacket and loafers, and donning his sweater and sneakers would be gone forever. Would I even go home?
Focus on footwear
I have a couple of pairs of cute sneakers that cost more than my dress shoes, so I felt a twinge of irritation when the dress code labeled them unacceptable. I suppose there is a risk people would reach for the ones they wore to slop the pigs in the wee hours of the morning before they’ve had their fifth cup of coffee. And since a whopping 0.2% of Maine residents live on pig farms I decided to stand up for this rule. Wearing my obedient Mary Jane’s.
Any shoe that makes a flip flop sound when one walks is forbidden. Not sure why this is a problem since most of us don’t walk much. But for those times when we amble to the bathroom or lunch, I can understand how this sound could distract co-workers.
This rhythmic resonance could elicit memories of carefree days when we were kids enjoying summer vacation, frolicking in a new pair of flip-flops purchased at J. C. Penney. These treasures ferried us through warm, unstructured days, protecting our soles from rocks and hot sand.
Yes, flip-flops are dangerous, and we must boycott them before we’ve turned into dallying daydreamers who flip-flop our way out the door with painted faces screaming ‘Freedom!”
I have one addition to taboo footwear, and I believe these lazy shoes have escaped scrutiny for too long. I think you’ll agree with me when I say nothing productive can come from employees wearing loafers. (Sorry Mr. Rogers).
What do you love about your company dress code? Are you compliant like me?