First lady declares surprising truce over controversial speech

In an unprecedented bipartisan gesture of goodwill, Michelle Obama declared a truce over the pirated speech Melania Trump delivered at the RNC last week. She said she sympathized with Melania’s position because she has ‘been there, done that,’ and knows how hard it is to find quality Harvard grads to write speeches.

Photo credit: depositphotos_copyright blue67

Photo credit: depositphotos_copyright blue67

Behind the scenes, however, Michelle allegedly vented her feelings through an email she sent to Hillary Clinton. Sources say a second-rate hacker broke into Hilary’s email server and read the following:

Dear Hillary,

I’m not proud of the speech that has found itself in the center of controversy and curse the day Meredith McIver resurrected words that were given a decent burial eight years ago.

You’ve given enough commencement speeches to know that there is a worldwide shortage of clichés. And I was so wet behind the ears I actually thought a generic speech filled with platitudes would be groundbreaking.

Now I am a sitting lame duck waiting for some astute Republican (I know, that is a contradiction in terms) to stop attacking you long enough to notice how lame my original speech really was.

For now, I’ll take comfort in the Trump campaign’s party line describing Melania’s address as a ‘great speech’ and accept this as a backhanded compliment. After all, imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

In a few months I’ll be job hunting and how can I convince a prospective employer I’m creative with excerpts of this boring, uninspiring speech in the limelight? I have worked hard for what I want in life, but my word is now my bondage and I’m afraid it will limit the height of my achievement.

Wait a minute. Did I just plagiarize Melania in that last paragraph? Well, no matter. I know I can trust you to keep this correspondence confidential.

Why couldn’t Melania have recounted fun times she and Donald had attending Texas barbecues? Then all the attention would have been on Laura Bush and I’d be off the hook, free to follow my dreams.

I’ve delivered so many riveting speeches since August 2008. Speeches worth passing on to the next generation, because we want our children and all the children of this nation to know that quality speech writing is a worthy profession if they are willing to work for it.

Some are accusing your campaign of disclosing the scandal of these twin passages of empty rhetoric, but I choose to believe that you would never wantonly embarrass me.

I’m sure at the end of the day, our love of family and America will unite us.

Thanks for listening.

Michelle

Unfortunately word on the street is that once Hillary retrieved Mrs. Obama’s heartfelt email from her SPAM folder, she didn’t read it. Apparently without thinking she clicked the ‘delete’ button.

How do you feel about being fed a steady diet of trite remarks? Do you think the speech writers of America need a revolution?

Author’s note: I’m sure there will be readers who will question the authenticity of Mrs. Obama’s email, but I cannot claim it as my original writing, since  I would NEVER use the cliche ‘at the end of the day.’

Speech truce

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Photo credit: depositphotos_Copyright:stevanovicigor

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10 thoughts on “First lady declares surprising truce over controversial speech

  1. Hi,
    When I heard about the plagiarism, I was on my vacation. Melanie said she wrote it “with very little help” now it turns out it was written and plagiarized by some speech writer.
    Thief or liar? I am not sympathetic. Speeches are hard to write. Don’t steal other people’s.

    • I agree, Janice. The thing that struck the humor writer in me was the blandness of what her speech writer stole and the crisis we face as a nation with a shortage of cliches. It is a travesty!

  2. Haha! A lot of political speeches, especially those from ancillary people, are pretty bland and generic really. I think the whole point is to not actually say anything. Of course, just because you’re not actually saying anything does not make it okay to not actually say the same thing that someone else has not actually said before, as Melania proved! In all seriousness, I know of what happened, but didn’t listen to more than a tiny bit of either speech. However, Trump is the worst thing ever, and must be stopped, whilst the Obamas are awesome. These are the indisputable facts here!

    • I love your assessment Silly Mummy. Even if a speech doesn’t say anything, it is not okay to copy it. What are we to do with this worldwide shortage of cliches? Shall we start a movement appealing to creative writers everywhere to devise some new ones?

  3. As a former speechwriter I can tell you how difficult it is to write a speech for the same person, the same purpose over and over and over. So I get it. I totally get it. All of it.

  4. Politics make me crazy!

    You bring light and laughter to it. Thank God for blog writers like your brilliant self 🙂

    • I do what I can Amanda. Political humor is tricky. My first goal is to make people laugh and there is a lot of material in politics if people can see the lighter side of it. Nice to hear from you! xo

  5. Well I rarely hear any because I avoid the news and newspapers for many reasons – this being one of them. They all make me sick with the crap they spin out to the ‘peasants’! We all know who REALLY runs this world and it ain’t the politicians!

    • I share your avoidance of the news Gilly. It is inaccurate and biased and I believe a steady diet of it makes me depressed. The redeeming factor is the material for humorists, so I have to latch onto a story once in a while that makes me giggle, hoping I can pass on a chuckle to someone else.

I love comments. Just type in the box below to make me happy, okay?