In an unprecedented bipartisan gesture of goodwill, Michelle Obama declared a truce over the pirated speech Melania Trump delivered at the RNC last week. She said she sympathized with Melania’s position because she has ‘been there, done that,’ and knows how hard it is to find quality Harvard grads to write speeches.
Behind the scenes, however, Michelle allegedly vented her feelings through an email she sent to Hillary Clinton. Sources say a second-rate hacker broke into Hilary’s email server and read the following:
I’m not proud of the speech that has found itself in the center of controversy and curse the day Meredith McIver resurrected words that were given a decent burial eight years ago.
You’ve given enough commencement speeches to know that there is a worldwide shortage of clichés. And I was so wet behind the ears I actually thought a generic speech filled with platitudes would be groundbreaking.
Now I am a sitting lame duck waiting for some astute Republican (I know, that is a contradiction in terms) to stop attacking you long enough to notice how lame my original speech really was.
For now, I’ll take comfort in the Trump campaign’s party line describing Melania’s address as a ‘great speech’ and accept this as a backhanded compliment. After all, imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
In a few months I’ll be job hunting and how can I convince a prospective employer I’m creative with excerpts of this boring, uninspiring speech in the limelight? I have worked hard for what I want in life, but my word is now my bondage and I’m afraid it will limit the height of my achievement.
Wait a minute. Did I just plagiarize Melania in that last paragraph? Well, no matter. I know I can trust you to keep this correspondence confidential.
Why couldn’t Melania have recounted fun times she and Donald had attending Texas barbecues? Then all the attention would have been on Laura Bush and I’d be off the hook, free to follow my dreams.
I’ve delivered so many riveting speeches since August 2008. Speeches worth passing on to the next generation, because we want our children and all the children of this nation to know that quality speech writing is a worthy profession if they are willing to work for it.
Some are accusing your campaign of disclosing the scandal of these twin passages of empty rhetoric, but I choose to believe that you would never wantonly embarrass me.
I’m sure at the end of the day, our love of family and America will unite us.
Thanks for listening.
Unfortunately word on the street is that once Hillary retrieved Mrs. Obama’s heartfelt email from her SPAM folder, she didn’t read it. Apparently without thinking she clicked the ‘delete’ button.
How do you feel about being fed a steady diet of trite remarks? Do you think the speech writers of America need a revolution?
Author’s note: I’m sure there will be readers who will question the authenticity of Mrs. Obama’s email, but I cannot claim it as my original writing, since I would NEVER use the cliche ‘at the end of the day.’
Photo credit: depositphotos_Copyright:stevanovicigor
©2016, Stevens. All rights reserved.