13 Tips to keep your relationship shallow

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. My husband and I have had a great run the past 25 years, and a lot of people ask us how we’ve been able to keep things shallow.

Courtesy depositphotos.com/aroas: used with permission, edits by author

  1. Start with a shallow foundation: We built our relationship on a slab instead of a full basement. There’s not even room for a crawl space.
  2. Focus on the physical: We met at the gym working on our body image, and we’ve never looked back.
  3. Shared value system: We love food and nothing reinforces our bond like asking the question, “What’s for dinner?”
  4. Goal Setting: For long-range goal setting we sit down with a calendar and plan menus for a month. We like to fine-tune it with wine pairings.
  5. Mutual interests: We both enjoy television and can spend hours laughing at our favorite comedies, or engrossed in the deep meaning of House of Cards.
  6. Agreement about finances: We agreed early on that status is important and buying name brands is never a debate. This has gone a long way to create consensus with the checkbook.
  7. Shallanyzing: Rather than deep analysis of each other and our problems, we tiptoe into warm shallow waters. No deep dives that could be cold and shark infested.
  8. Low expectations: Any day can be Valentine’s Day when you don’t expect anything at all.
  9. Vacations without meaning: When we have time and money on our hands we go to Disney World, the happiest place on earth.
  10. Poor memory for details: How can you hold a grudge when you can’t remember what made you mad in the first place?
  11. Low threshold for excitement: Bottle return day has us trembling with delight about how to spend our reclaimed $8.35.
  12. Comfort with silence: Instead of ‘reading into’ quiet time, we view it as a reprieve from meaningless conversation.
  13. Denial: There is nothing wrong with denial as long as you are mutually oblivious.

How do you keep your relationship shallow?

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17 thoughts on “13 Tips to keep your relationship shallow

    • I had to google ‘agony aunt’ Lucy and now that I know what it is I agree. I believe I could be an advice columnist! I’m doing my best to spread the shallow and with helpers like you I know I will be a success.

  1. I find staying in the shallow-end works just swimmingly. No one can drown in shallow waters! Unless of course you’re supremely talented.

  2. For my wife, Heidi, and I, every day is Valentine’s Day. We don’t need no stinking holiday to remind us. Albeit, some days are less romantic than others…many days…I guess… Another stupid commercialized holiday… Big whoop! Anyhow, we’re going on vacation to warm environs next week, so there’ll be lots of loving… Regards, John

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